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(no subject) [Aug. 25th, 2008|05:07 pm]
back in school today!

my days will start at 730 am 
and run until 6:30pm
5 days a week

things are good though
got my raise
tom made me breakfast at 6 this morning (i couldn't ask for anyone sweeter)
no free money from fin. aid

tour -o - florida starts this weekend
orlando, gainesville, tally
i wish tarpon springs was  a stop somewhere in there

last year was for me
and it paid off

"i can see in your eyes that you've been through a lot" - jimmy ford's attempt at a pick up line
"are you saying i look old!?...cause i haven't been through shit...in fact, this has been the easiest year in long time" - my responce
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(no subject) [Aug. 1st, 2008|12:05 pm]
my biggest problem in life today is what lifetime movie i'm going to watch
and how i'm going to get a nap in before dinner

i got into grad school
at least 4 more years of school...i'll be almost 30

Jenn is leaving today
not happy

Renee is leaving in 14 days
really really not happy

kisses all around
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(no subject) [Jul. 11th, 2008|10:19 am]
so i came to the shocking realization this morning
that renee is moving
normally this wouldn't be a big deal
now i'm going to have to carry a purse when i go out at night

life was good this week
worked out a lot
cleaned the apt. alot
didn't drink alot
until last night

parents start their rv trip today
it makes me nervous thinking of them driving that thing

oh-hi-o later this month
i love the gallaghers
not as much as danielle does though

still no word about school
strangely enough i don't think about it too much

there was a tie on jeopardy last night
i cant wait for tonight to see who wins!!
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(no subject) [Jun. 22nd, 2008|10:15 pm]

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(no subject) [Jun. 16th, 2008|08:51 pm]
a year ago i had these nerve in my stomach
i couldn't eat
i hardly slept
i didn't know what tomorrow would bring

and here they are again
but i think this time its good
it was good last year...just this time...
they're from moving forward
and not from being afraid of progress

and honestly...if i fail
at least my mom is still proud ;)
but really...
at least its failing from trying and not from sitting on my ass
(which btw...i've gotten damned good at)

my life is going to be determined this week (never said i wasn't a drama queen)
...for better or worse
this is just a step getting me to where ever the fuck i'm going. 
and i'll be here tomorrow
and i'll have amazing friends
and a decent boyfriend
and the best parents

i need to stop

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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2008|01:30 pm]
i want  a lockett
and flowers
and love letters

but i have a feeling i'm going to have to cheerish my 4am pillow talk sessions
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(no subject) [May. 7th, 2008|09:29 pm]
i'm happy
really i am
i've got a boy who doesn't judge me
no expectations
i always thought that i could move on from something
after i've learned from it
i still haven't learned my lesson
five years is a lot to take in though
can you imagine trying to sum up all that you've learned in five years?

in other news...
happy birthday ladies!
i love you both. 
i applogize for being so lame
i hope you had good days
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(no subject) [Mar. 31st, 2008|11:34 am]
Broke the fast on friday
i got lost in the mall
i don't get lost in malls

i actually got really weak after i started eating again
but am doing good now
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day 3 [Mar. 28th, 2008|07:57 am]
after work things got better
went for a walk with tom
got really hungry after (was only away from the drink for 30 minutes)
but drank and felt better

am still undecided how long i'm going to keep this going
i go back and forth...i've started, might as well finish
but i don't feel any different
not better, not worse
so whats going on here?

am waking up with THE worst taste in my mouth
so i'm sure my breath isnt great

i did do the salt water flush last night
and it made me feel better
i was feeling bloated yesterday, and its not so bad today
after reading/watching other peoples blogs i expect the flush to be some intense stuff
it wasn't
i went the bathroom maybe four times...each time totaling 2 minutes, at the most
it did last about an hour...four times in a hour sounds about right
i started the salty drink at 830...starting "going" around 9, was completely cleared by 10:30
my stomach did do lots of grumbling though
and i did get a little nauseous but i drank more water, and felt better
it tasted awful
i need to research and see if i can do a few small shots of salt water  followed by lots of water
or if that will make me vomit?

made a new mix of the drink last night
ran out of maple syrup before i could make my 60 ounces
(which now that i think about...i'm not drinking nearly enough of this stuff its suposed to be 60 ounces a day, it took me two days to go through the first 60)
i'm again worried about the whole blood sugar thing, but it doesn't taste much different
added more pepper
it might be too much, but the drink is still drinkable. 

i have to decide about this weekend fast...
if i'm partying sunday, i have to start eating soon

really on the fence about that right now
everytime i think of quiting something comes up to make me keep on keeping on
*i need words from Recovery Jones right now*

i did get super pissy last night for a bit
trying to clean up my room and nothing was going right
so i just laid down
not sure if that was from tiredness (from the drink or from lack of sleep), or from not smoking*
i have been sleeping better though
not any better then when i don't drink (alcohol)...i don't think
its been such a long time since i've not gone to bed with at least two glasses of wine in me

have yet to weigh myself today...sure i lost a pound of "junk" last night after the salt water flush

*i have had 4.5 cigarettes in three days
(instead of my usual 6 or 7 a day)
and i am out now
meaning, if i buy more, i'm doomed i think
i wonder if nicotine gum works?
but i don't really want to quit forever...not ready for that yet

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day 2 - update [Mar. 27th, 2008|03:38 pm]
this is bad

i'm hungry
i think i'm just bored

maybe this will teach me the difference. 
always had a hard time with that lesson
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