| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2008|05:07 pm] |
SO OOOOOOOOOOOO strange...
back in school today!
my days will start at 730 am
and run until 6:30pm
5 days a week
things are good though
got my raise
tom made me breakfast at 6 this morning (i couldn't ask for anyone sweeter)
no free money from fin. aid
tour -o - florida starts this weekend
orlando, gainesville, tally
i wish tarpon springs was a stop somewhere in there
last year was for me
and it paid off
"i can see in your eyes that you've been through a lot" - jimmy ford's attempt at a pick up line
"are you saying i look old!?...cause i haven't been through shit...in fact, this has been the easiest year in long time" - my responce |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2008|12:05 pm] |
my biggest problem in life today is what lifetime movie i'm going to watch
and how i'm going to get a nap in before dinner
i got into grad school
at least 4 more years of school...i'll be almost 30
Jenn is leaving today
not happy
Renee is leaving in 14 days
really really not happy
kisses all around |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2008|10:19 am] |
so i came to the shocking realization this morning
that renee is moving
normally this wouldn't be a big deal
but
now i'm going to have to carry a purse when i go out at night
life was good this week
worked out a lot
cleaned the apt. alot
didn't drink alot
until last night
parents start their rv trip today
it makes me nervous thinking of them driving that thing
oh-hi-o later this month
i love the gallaghers
not as much as danielle does though
still no word about school
strangely enough i don't think about it too much
there was a tie on jeopardy last night
i cant wait for tonight to see who wins!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2008|08:51 pm] |
a year ago i had these nerve in my stomach
i couldn't eat
i hardly slept
i didn't know what tomorrow would bring
and here they are again
but i think this time its good
it was good last year...just this time...
they're from moving forward
and not from being afraid of progress
and honestly...if i fail
at least my mom is still proud ;)
but really...
at least its failing from trying and not from sitting on my ass
(which btw...i've gotten damned good at)
my life is going to be determined this week (never said i wasn't a drama queen)
...for better or worse
this is just a step getting me to where ever the fuck i'm going.
and i'll be here tomorrow
and i'll have amazing friends
and a decent boyfriend
and the best parents
i need to stop
kisses! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 6th, 2008|01:30 pm] |
i want a lockett
and flowers
and love letters
but i have a feeling i'm going to have to cheerish my 4am pillow talk sessions |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2008|09:29 pm] |
i'm happy
really i am
i've got a boy who doesn't judge me
no expectations
i always thought that i could move on from something
after i've learned from it
i still haven't learned my lesson
five years is a lot to take in though
can you imagine trying to sum up all that you've learned in five years?
in other news...
happy birthday ladies!
i love you both.
i applogize for being so lame
i hope you had good days |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|11:34 am] |
Broke the fast on friday
i got lost in the mall
i don't get lost in malls
i actually got really weak after i started eating again
but am doing good now |
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| day 3 |
[Mar. 28th, 2008|07:57 am] |
after work things got better
went for a walk with tom
got really hungry after (was only away from the drink for 30 minutes)
but drank and felt better
am still undecided how long i'm going to keep this going
i go back and forth...i've started, might as well finish
but i don't feel any different
not better, not worse
so whats going on here?
am waking up with THE worst taste in my mouth
so i'm sure my breath isnt great
oh
i did do the salt water flush last night
and it made me feel better
i was feeling bloated yesterday, and its not so bad today
after reading/watching other peoples blogs i expect the flush to be some intense stuff
it wasn't
i went the bathroom maybe four times...each time totaling 2 minutes, at the most
it did last about an hour...four times in a hour sounds about right
i started the salty drink at 830...starting "going" around 9, was completely cleared by 10:30
my stomach did do lots of grumbling though
and i did get a little nauseous but i drank more water, and felt better
it tasted awful
i need to research and see if i can do a few small shots of salt water followed by lots of water
or if that will make me vomit?
made a new mix of the drink last night
ran out of maple syrup before i could make my 60 ounces
(which now that i think about...i'm not drinking nearly enough of this stuff its suposed to be 60 ounces a day, it took me two days to go through the first 60)
i'm again worried about the whole blood sugar thing, but it doesn't taste much different
added more pepper
it might be too much, but the drink is still drinkable.
i have to decide about this weekend fast...
if i'm partying sunday, i have to start eating soon
really on the fence about that right now
everytime i think of quiting something comes up to make me keep on keeping on
*i need words from Recovery Jones right now*
oh!
i did get super pissy last night for a bit
trying to clean up my room and nothing was going right
so i just laid down
not sure if that was from tiredness (from the drink or from lack of sleep), or from not smoking*
i have been sleeping better though
not any better then when i don't drink (alcohol)...i don't think
its been such a long time since i've not gone to bed with at least two glasses of wine in me
have yet to weigh myself today...sure i lost a pound of "junk" last night after the salt water flush
*i have had 4.5 cigarettes in three days
(instead of my usual 6 or 7 a day)
and i am out now
meaning, if i buy more, i'm doomed i think
i wonder if nicotine gum works?
but i don't really want to quit forever...not ready for that yet
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| day 2 - update |
[Mar. 27th, 2008|03:38 pm] |
this is bad
i'm hungry
i think i'm just bored
maybe this will teach me the difference.
always had a hard time with that lesson |
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| day 2 |
[Mar. 27th, 2008|08:43 am] |
last night went horribly
going to bob saget meant no "food" for three plus hours
but the second i drank the drink i felt great again
a little weak
but i think that had more to to with being away from home for 15 hours
today woke up ok
7 hours of sleep
i drank some of the drink and went on my way
i did have a cigarette
but we're working on one step at a time here people
still no bowel movements
(i hate saying it like that)
but i haven't really been taking the laxatives like i should
but tonight i WILL
i'm going to try the intense yoga class
i really think i'll be fine so long as i bring enough of the drink
i am kicking myself for not weighing in yesterday
but i'll go with my "average weight"...and by that i lost a pound yesterday
undoubtedly all water weight
i am more excited to see what i lose and then what i gain back
this really is turning into a science experiment |
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| day 1 |
[Mar. 26th, 2008|11:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
so i was really pumped about this whole fasting thing
feeling better sounded pretty good
tom showed up after he got off work - which is always a good thing
maybe not when i've taken a laxitive though
but thanks to my iron gut
i haven't shit yet (15 hours after the laxitive, 4 after starting the lemonade)
its almost noon and i'm not really hungry per say
i could eat
and 20 pizzas just went by
but i'm not starving
i was worried about my blood sugar dropping way low
i am really sleepy
one of my biggest fears was the headache thats bound to come with the nicotine and caffine withdrawls
not gonna lie - i had a half of a cigarette this morning
but i either was really nauseaus from it, or felt so guilty about cheating myself out of the a real cleanse...i threw it out
this is huge progress - somehow i usually find a way to smoke two before i get to work
really am sleepy though
need to find work to do to keep me busy and my mind off food
hopefully i'll have energy to post tonight |
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| day 0 |
[Mar. 25th, 2008|08:00 pm] |
so i remembered about the fasting thing late tonight (at like 7)
so i ran off to publix and bought myself the ingredients
8 lemons
cyanne peper
4 jugs of water
and maple syrup
15 dollars later i was on my way
I forgot the laxitive tea though
and from what i read this part was pretty important
so i bought laxitive drink (basically salt water)
drank that, the first few ounces weren't so bad
but i couldn't manage to drink half of it
off to bed! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2007|12:03 pm] |
i really really hate how five days a week, i'm counting down till the weekend
i can't wait till i figure out what i really want to do for a job
good stuff...
its almost christmas - hopefully it will be a white one
dg stuff is going fairly well...as long as i'm normal, it works out
cocktail party for work tomorrow...that should be fun
the tree looks amazing!
negatives...
i've been hanging out with renee too much to have any negative thoughts
even my smoking habit is a positive with her
i do have a headache though
and its not as cold outside as i would like
i don't have a dress for tomorrow...but i have faith it will get worked out
<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2007|05:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | impressed | ] |
1. get to work on time everyday
2. lose two pounds
3. don't call
day one of five going very well.
good weekend
no no
great weekend
though, i will forever wonder what kind of person wants to be my friend
but i won't push the topic
because i appreciate them
even though, they must be morons
or really good at ignoring 90 percent of what i say. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2007|11:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
fest '07 worked out nicely
did no festing
fun fun party friday night though
costume turned out good
saturday...was well...memorable i'm sure, if i could remember it.
and yesterday, was...lets just say i laid on the floor for 8 hours, eating and thinking about getting up. but didn't.
and then a bunch of assholes decided to wake me up at 1am, and then 3...no worries though, i got them back at 7 this morning.
i'm signing up for intensive yoga tonight i think.
100 minutes, in 100 degrees
for a girl who doesn't like to sweat, i sure am excited about it.
i think i'm already ready to look for a new job.
the self-help book my brother got me, says something along the lines of the importance of figuring out what kind of flower you are and where you blossom best...and that you should do what you like doing, not necessarily what you're good at. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2007|01:34 pm] |
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Find your own pose!
in other news...
home trip was good.
i always feel so busy when i'm down there
and really i just want to sit by the pool and not do anything
good to see everyone though.
i'm getting excited about my halloween cotume
the first planned out costume in years
i hope it turns out good. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2007|02:23 pm] |
bobby k show tonight
nervous about how it will all turn out
partied too much this weekend.
didn't sleep enough
home in four days
doing good today
can't wait to nap. i wish i didn't sit in the front at work
then they'd never know i was gone.
i wonder what its like to have an ulcer
my stomache has not been happy the last few months
and now its really bad
super excited...sam from rock of love = at atlantic tomorrow. |
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